Pink, MD Anderson, and Strawberry Ice-Cream

I have always loved pink! It has been my favorite color since I was a little girl. Every year I would see the pink ribbons, and businesses would ask for donations for breast cancer research. I never hesitated to donate--this has always been a cause near and dear to my heart. But I would not know why for many years.

Back in March of this year I noticed something wasn't right with my left breast. I checked it every day for about 4 or 5 days---until my husband's words, "I am going to call the doctor if you don't." He knows the doc very well. We have known him for about 15 years and are on a first name basis with him---he knows our boys, where we work--so I knew Danny meant it. I also knew how serious he was about this because breast cancer has touched our family--this month his mom has been one of our angels for 3 years now. Where has the time gone?

So I went to my doctor and he checked me. And just like I thought he might, he said,"Jenny, I am going to order a mammogram." OK... so a few days later, I am at the hospital--sitting in the waiting room, looking at all the "pink"-- it's everywhere. Susan G. Komen info is there...it's comforting. It's a small hospital, so there aren't too many people. My husband wanted to come with me, but I told him no...that it was ok...I tried to be all cool---see I am the one my family says is the strong one. Was I cool? In denial? Scared? Faith filled? Ummm, maybe some of everything.

I had the mammogram done, but I was determined NOT to be waiting for a letter in the mail. I would be living life, and when the letter came--or the phone call came--it came. I would not sit waiting for results.

In the meantime, my husband and I had conversations. We had seen breast cancer up close. My mom and my sister were there to listen and pray. My dear friend Penny (who is now with the Lord) was also praying with me. I prayed and spoke to the Lord. I sought Him as much as I could. And I found peace. There is a song called "Hope Now" and a line in the song says, "I'm not my own, I've been carried by You my whole life." It resonated with me. Everything I had been through--every hurt, every situation, every THING brought me to this moment. For such a time as this. I knew I was His and He was mine---as long I held onto that--I knew He would carry me.

I was working out of town for my job when the call came. My doctor said it was abnormal and there was a mass. He was scheduling another mammogram ASAP and an ultrasound. I told him fine, I would go when I got back into town.

When I got back home, the letter from the hospital was waiting for me. It reiterated what my doctor told me, plus a bit more information. My husband and I had many conversations during this time-- he was strong, encouraging, loving. I told him whatever comes, I will fight. I will let the doctors do a mastectomy or double mastectomy---I would fight in the natural and spiritual--I would follow God where He led me. I got so close to the Lord, I constantly WORSHIPED...I knew the Lord knew my need, but what sustained me was being in a constant state of worship-- His presence. My husband, mom, sister, her husband, my aunt and a few close friends were praying for me and with me.

My son is about 14 hrs away at college. I had not told him any of this---he was too far away. He had already decided to go to California for spring break for some mission work. But he called me early Saturday morning and said,"Mom I'm sorry to do this to you, but can you get me home? I don't feel like I should go to California--I feel like I should be home." I said OK--he had no idea what was going on, but thank God he was sensitive to the Spirit. As soon as he arrived, I told him everything. He is a wonderful young man who loves the Lord. He prayed with me, encouraged me, and said God has a plan. We will follow His will. I totally agreed.

Round 2. 2nd mammogram. I have a close family...when one goes, everyone wants to go.(lol) I told my sister not to worry about going, she takes care of my dad & she had enough on her plate. So, my mom, brother, son & my husband went with me. I was in one waiting room & my family was in another. We were all smiles, and the atmosphere was light, but I knew everyone was praying in their hearts and minds. They called my name. I went in, put on my robe. Then I saw it. My slides were staring at me. My name was on the slide. IT was circled in a black marker. Later the doctor would tell me it was as big as a 50 cent piece.

After the new scans were taken, the nurse briefly put me in another waiting room. Pretty soon, I was called to the ultrasound area. They had already brought in my old slide with the black circle on it. The tech made me very comfortable, and said the doctor would be in shortly. She took some pics when the doctor walked in the room. He said,"How are you Mrs. Morales?" I'm fine I said. The tech told him, "She is a little nervous doctor." He said, "There is no need to be nervous Mrs. Morales." Then he pointed at the slide with the black circle on it. "Mrs. Morales, 2 weeks ago you had a mass this big (he showed me with his hands) as big as a 50 cent piece. But for whatever reason, it's gone now... and you can't hide something that big! Its gone." Thank You Jesus!! He healed me!! I wanted to cry. I got dressed. I practically ran to the waiting area where my family was sitting. I told them my news. We were loud and so thankful! My husband said it best, when he said quoting the doctor. "For whatever reason?" We KNOW the reason! God healed you!" Yes!! I called family & friends! My sister was thankful and finally broke down in tears. So did my brother in law.

Sunday came, and I went to church. I told our small congregation. Some wept. All rejoiced with me. Thankful for what the Lord had done!

Tuesday came, and my doctor's office called again. His nurse wanted to tell me they had scheduled an appointment for me to see a breast cancer oncologist. EXCUSE ME?? WHAT?? I was angry. I told her what the doctor at the hospital had said to me. She would talk to my doctor again, and call me back. I called my husband and my mom. We agreed he was being overly cautious--remember he has been my doctor for about 15 yrs. I decided I would go---I would not doubt God. I was following the path He had for me. So when the office called back, I told them to cancel my appointment with the BCO...I would be going to MD Anderson.

MD Anderson is a huge place. You plan to be there the entire day. I had my itinerary--which included visit with dr., more scans, ultrasound, and the biopsy, if needed. I consulted with the doctor. The hospital had all my previous tests/results---she did exam--& asked me what brought me to MD Anderson today.

I told her the entire story. She told me we would know everything before I left this place today. I got dressed. My husband, sister and I went to next the waiting area. There were so many women. I thought to myself--all these women---they all have families. All these people affected. Each woman represents a family---people who love and care for her. My heart hurt for them--some were there for chemo, others were there to see if the cancer was gone or had it come back. Many reasons...but all strong, courageous women.

At my 2nd appointment, the tech asked me,"What brings to you to MD Anderson?" I told her & she took all the slides at weird angles. She finished and wished me well. We went to lunch and came back. Waiting for appointment 3. When they called me in; my sister said she was going to walk around. She would meet us at appointment 4.

The tech was kind. She asked me"What brings you to MD Anderson today?" By each one of these people asking me this question, they were confirming what I already knew---there would be NO appointment 4--biopsy. The doctor came in and asked me very kindly, "What brings you to MD Anderson today?"

Of course every one of these people knew why I was there--it was on my chart they had my slides, results--but I knew by asking this, they were not seeing anything on ANY of the tests. And that is exactly what the doctor told me. "You are fine. Everything is normal Mrs. Morales." There was no appointment 4---we went straight to appointment 5--the final consultation. She repeated all the good new and told me how happy she was for me.

My sister came back. When she did not see us at appointment 4, she knew it was good. She bought me an angel bracelet while she was gone and gave it to me.

I called Justin first to tell him the good news; then my mom and everyone else. My husband and I have a good friend in the military. When I got home I had some ice cream and beautiful flowers waiting for me with some comforting scripture that he sent.

God is so good.! He saved me He healed me. He placed my feet on solid ground. And... he gave me strawberry (pink) ice cream to celebrate with---just because He can!

PS I wanted to share my story to raise awareness...it is so important to do your self checks and yearly mammograms. This affects us all---husbands, children, families, friends---everyone!